Xmas Tunes

• 25th of December - Everything But The Girl : I'm pretty sure this is my favorite Xmas song ever. This one stays on repeat for hours sometimes.

• Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses : Quit acting like this song doesn't make you want to dance like Ducky.


• It's Christmas Time (Oh Yeah) - Barenaked Ladies : The first verse kind of gets me emotional.

• Little Drummer Boy - Tori Amos : When you listen to this song, in your mind's eye, Tori will be dry humping her bench to one of the most traditional of Xmas songs. And yes. She's hot.


• Someday at Christmas - Remy Zero : Pretty straight forward cover. Still, I dig Remy Zero.

And there you have it. Five of my favorite Xmas songs.

And just for the record, my all time favorites were not posted. You're thinking why and I'm posting it's because Charlie Brown's Xmas songs cannot be contained and/or included on any list.

Charlie Brown and everything that implies, is part of the fabric that keeps the universe from imploding.

I'm gonna go ahead and skip lunch today aka Thanksgiving Epilogue.

AKA I had enough Roasted Turkey/Dressing/Various types of pie/Zeigenbock (Only Texans Get It!)/Rolls/Pineappled Ham/insert everything else here, to last me until next weekend.

Anyone else have Turducken? A turkey, stuffed with a duck and a hen. That's normal. It was actually pretty decent.

Is it just me, or do families end up spending more time with the wife's side of the family?

I know we do. Not saying it's a bad thing. My wife's family is probably more close knit and to be quite honest, more into the whole family get together thing.

My family on the other hand, it is so dysfunctional, just thinking about where and who and how makes me give up even trying. It's not all my family's fault though. I'm pretty sure most of it is me. As soon as I catch a whiff of the unstableness that is my family situation, I'm out.

That's too bad. I really missed my sisters this past week.

You know you are addicted to blogs, when one of your favorites is about something else you are addicted too....

Starbucks!


Excuse me while I continue to underestimate the power of stableness.

Merry Thanksgiving!

14

Today my oldest is 14. To celebrate this occasion, I woke my son up at 6am and took him for Starbuck's. He wanted a Grande White Mocha.

Great kid. He never gets into any trouble in school. Actually has manners. Is compassionate towards people. Could care less about sports. Wants to become a History Professor/Teacher/get into politics because he wants to make the world a better place. And you know what? He has the heart to become that someone.

He even refuses to indulge in the constant low level potty humor my 10 year old and I revel in.


I know what you're thinking and that would be a no. I wasn't involved in an adoption process 14 years ago.

Fuckers.

TiVo Talk!

Welcome to a new segment here on The Armando Show. Random ramblings about what is on my TiVo aka what I like to watch on the telly.......

Roswell - It comes on at like 4 am on Sci-Fi every Friday and TiVo = awesome. It was one of my favorite shows and still holds up. If you've never seen it, Netflix it. If you don't Netflix, you suck.

Survivor: Guatemala - I STILL loves this shit. I can't wait for this every week.

Lost - Fun and Genius, even if I, along with everyone else in the no patience having US of A wan't more shit to happen all the time. But I know in my heart that the manga style storytelling is perfect. Sooner or later, people will realize it's like reading a good book. A really big fucking book.

Gilmore Girls - Seriously, never has a tv series I've enjoyed had characters who seem as real as the ones on this show. And still the best dialogue ever. When I tell you this show makes you feel like you are watching someone's life, I mean it. Not much really happens other than life things. And the life things that do happen, the way the characters react and interact, even after I have watched every episode of the first three seasons, is still refreshing and as real as ever. And be sure to pay attention, because Lorelai spits brilliance.

Gotta Go!

It's Official - Xmas time is here! (Or, If 103.7 KVIL decides to start playing Xmas music...)

Then yes, it's time for the Holidays! *Egg Nog Boner*

www.kvil.com

Fuck it. I'm going to rock it. Rock it real hard.

*Don't They Know It's Xmas plays in background*

Jesus, Boy George is so gay. And Bono sounds as arrogant as ever. Even way back then before he decided to become The New Jesus.

*nods head*

No. I won't stop describing reality in between asterisks.

*stands up and crotch chops the internet*

Ok. So this Xmas we're going to Disney World. For those that know me, it's no secret I am the biggest Disney World whore. Sure it's corporate capitalism at it's finest, but it's fine tuned and geniusly marketed corporate capitalism.

Who gives a shit. I love it. Anyone who can make me "believe" I am at the coolest place on earth, is free to go ahead and get some of this ass.

December 18th - 26th. Sunday to Monday. Fuck Yeah!

We leave early that Saturday. (As soon as Starbuck's opens, yes I know, more corporate analism, but I am gay like that) Drive all day, happier 'n shit until Saturday night. That will place us somewhere in Florida. We'll get a room, wake up early Sunday and arrive at WDW (Walt Disney World for those who aren't geeky enough) around noonish.

Want to know what the best part is? We haven't and won't tell the kids until we are in the van and driving off.

We just figured, all the money we waste on gifts, etc. why not use it on something that can last forever (memories) as opposed to the latest thing-a-muh-bob my kids will only add to their collection of neglection?

And you know what? There are worse things than being all Xmassy right now.


Like letting your son dress up as Queen Amidala for Halloween......BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

My Dearest Blog, Oh How I Ignore Thee........(one more Halloween story before I decide it's time to go ahead and get into a very unstable..

and ridiculously early Xmas mode.) (We're going to Disney World for Xmas btw, but that's another post)

So, ok, this is my last All Hollow's Eve post, and the first post of a renewed commitment to my most wonderful of blogs. ( although, I have been blogging in my head, weird)

It's Halloween, and we are at the Mrs. best friend's house, eating a little dinner before we head off to the genius that is trunk fest. Per her best friend's request, the Mrs. is putting make up on her 9 year old son.

Now here's where it starts to get interesting. Let me set this up. My 14 year old was dressed as Goofy, (well because...) my 10 year old was your standard camoflauge ninja and my 4 year old was Spider-Man. Pretty basic stuff.

The best friend's son, he was walking around in a red robe, with these designs on it, that looked strangely familiar. My boys are like, Dad, it's like we've seen that robe before but we can't place where.

So one of my boys ask him, what it is he was wearing and he said he was dressing up "like one of those dragons in a Chinese parade, like something you see in a Chinese parade's".

Baffled, my 10 year old shrugs.

As my wife puts on the full white face make up and begins to make a red circle on each of his cheeks, I'm thinking , OH OH.

This red robe, this face make up, is on a 9 year old boy. BOY. And I'm thinking, with my 10 year old is sitting right next to me fascinated, this is starting to look, umm how can I put this without being mean, I can't. So I won't.

When she is done applying the make up, he announces to his audience, my son and I, that he is going to his room to get the last piece to this strange puzzle he is wearing.

As he walks back into the living room, in full costume, it dawns on me that this is the greatest Halloween moment of my life. My eyes and mind almost cannot fathom the comedic implications of this 9 year old BOY's costume.

And what made it even cooler was that my 10 year old was totally on the same wavelength.

We both looked at each other in total amazement, tears instantly building in our eyes.

Homeboy had dressed up as QUEEN AMIDALA and not he or his mother knew it!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Lil'Lil Mando went bananas and literally started to go into a seizure it was so goddamn funny. I had to cover his mouth, I didn't want to hurt the boys feelings, so I started to wrestle with him. I mean, this shit was fucking funny dude. Horribly funny.

It took everything I had to keep my 10 year old from talking trash. Don't get me wrong though, we laughed for at least 15 minutes straight, and everytime the boy talked to us, oh dear, funniest shit ever.

All night long my son would come over to me and whisper, "Queen Amidala to the rescue!"

We never did tell him or his mom who he really was. We just didn't have the heart. That and my wife wouldn't let me.

There's a "young boy on Who's The Boss" joke in there somewhere.

Trunk Fest = The New Halloween

This is where I make one of those statements about how, when I was a kid, Halloween was so much fun. Ton's 'O Kids walking around, streets filled with ET's and Luke Skywalker's, and an occasional Goonie. (see me)

But that would be the predictable, run of the mill way to start a post. Oh wait.

This year, and quite honestly, the past couple of years, the streets have been empty. Sad, but true. This is the part where I tell you that when I was a kid, things were simpler and people actually enjoyed going outside and interacting with the community. Not anymore. And who can blame them?

It's a New Age. I have more friends online than I do in the real world. Add all the things kids can do these days, video games, DVD's, the interweb and enter kids who really just don't care about walking around outside and getting free candy.

Again with the "enter", The Trunk Fest.

Leave it to the marketing genius' at your local church to come up with another way to get your address and try and pimp out there Jesus to you. And to be quite honest, I applaud them for it.

Instead of Halloween, it's Harvest Time, and instead of going house to house, you get a bunch of people to park in your parking lot, and hand out candy from their trunks. GENIUS.

Meanwhile, you have concessions, a stage where the Jesus is being rocked, and presto, Super Jesus Harvest Festival disguised as the New Halloween. Again, Genius.

My two older boys remember "the days" of going house to house, but my 4 year old, he's a child of the New Age Trunk Fest.

"House to house? Dudes, when you guys were little, I bet you had VCR's!!! Queers!" - says the little Latino kid disguised as a coconut.